Jemblog

My Suitor: Berntholer

Christmas 1983. At weekends I worked in a miserable newsagents next to the Tesco in Boundary Road, Hove on the “music” counter. (we only stocked cassettes). Cold, miserable Saturday afternoons listening to Thriller and Lionel Ritchie over and over. 3 memorable moments. Being sacked a few weeks later for having the wrong “attitude”. How thrilled I was for this to happen when you like the Smiths and you're 18. Spending weeks summoning up the courage to ask the blonde shopgirl out and then being crushed in 5 seconds. “er, we’ll see” and then she laughed. Nice. Maybe it was my Next jumper. And ridiculously most Sunday mornings playing (the "manager" was invariably asleep hungover on the floor of  his “office” overlooking the shop) entire John Peel shows (well what you could fit onto a C90) Yes that is Xmal Deutschland/Cocteau Twins/the Mighty Wah! sir. Is that a Twix you want with your Mayfair and the Sunday People. Fascist!

For months Peel was in love with this. I was in love with this. Even the shopgirl finally fell in love with this (but not with me).  My Suitor by Belgian group; Berntholer was a 1983 single full of cello, the spooky vocals of Albanian; Drita Kotaji, and 10 ounces of nico drenched balladery. It was eventually released by WEA (Blanco Y Negro) over here and sold 10,000 copies. As a result it limped into  the Festive Fifty for 1984 at No.34 betwen Robert Wyatt and This Mortal Coil and they've been virtually forgotten and misspelt ever since. For years its been unavailable but thankfully a lavish compilation ; "Merry Lines in the Sky" was put together by the LTM fellas late last year which includes this and many more miserable torch songs. Its a very beatiful record. Perfect for sunday mornings on the Boundary Road selling crisps.

Hit Parade: Back Back Back

Back in the day this lot suddenly appeared with their pianos, golden voice(s) and about 82 record sales (mostly in Japan). Unlike the other incompetents, the Hit Parade had both the genuine love of a nice tune but with a briefcase attached. A real record label !, being aloof from the grubby inky weeklies, irony (well it was very earnest in the 80s...Have you ever read "Are you scared to get Happy ?") and bloomin heck: staying power. Ok they flirted with the indiepoposphere by  signing to Sarah and releasing a christmas single with Amelia (from Tallulah Gosh) but I'm sure it was only because that chimed perfectly with the Parade's demographic. (Lovelorn anorak wearers, the youth of the far East, er me.). And didn't they know it. So  almost 20 years on and (presumably) financed by his evil career as a marketing executive  Julian Henry (for it is he) / The Hit Parade have returned to the fray. Starting with probably the last ever UK advertising campaign for a 7" single (quarter pagers in Mojo and Word and everything) their 3rd (4th..I'm not sure) album is upon us in a few months time. I've not heard it yet but of course it'll be annoyingly perfect and I'll be whistling it for weeks. The kids won't know where to turn. 3 Field Mice Reissues, A *new*  Go Betweens album, Simon Reynolds book, 4 more years of Tony Blair and this. Its all too much. Well better than those bloomin columns in the Guardian thats for sure. Henry's House. Ho Ho..

Sweetie: The Chefs

I first heard this long forgotten single at Sunshine Playroom in the summer of 1987. Naively at the time I wrongly assumed it was by Talulah Gosh or probably a new Sha-La-La flexi. Fruitless journeys around Brightons (many) 2nd hand shops ensued. I then caused no doubt endless mirth attempting to sing the bloody thing over several counters trying to track it down.
I paid three quid of my dole money for it 2 weeks later having found it in a shop in, of all places, Leeds. The most joyous, poppiest single I owned.

Sweetie by The Chefs was released in 1980 on Attrix Records, a small label in Brighton and also the name of a shop in Sydney Street that sold punk singles. The history of the label and bands from the time are recalled here on Stuart Wilson's astonishing biographical site; "The Punk History of Brighton". Apparently I wasn't the only one who liked The Chefs.

“Stuart! There’s someone on the phone for you!” This turned out to be none other than Pete Waterman himself, who then proceeded to froth at the mouth with adoration about the Chefs! He loved their image, their songs, and was going to make them stars, millionaires! He went on and on about their song Sweetie: “Its gonna be a number one all over the world! Im tellin’ ya!”

The site has dozens of old flyers, discographies, memoirs and news of the bands and this brief profile of the band taken from the Brighton compilation; Vaultage 79

The Chefs call their music pop as they really are too nice to cut it as punks. Catchy, distinctive and sparse, the Chefs sing about oral sex, VD, boredom and food. One song, Thrush, has a great punk lyric: 'I was just a bunk-up for you to get your spunk up'.

it turned out I'd already owned a single by Helen "McCookerybook" Reddington. (the band's singer/songwriter) Freight Train by her later band; Helen and the Horns. They didn't become stars either. But, 25 years on, Helen has bravely decided to have another go, The Chefs/Horns output is being reissued and Helen and the Horns have reformed and are playing at the Brighton Komedia on June 22nd. Ok its not exactly  Duran Duran or Gang of Four proportions but hey anyone who can write a single with the lyrics "Records and Tea are all life means to me" is worth celebrating second time around.

 

Get well soon Edwyn.

Edwyn - Hope you're ok soon.

UPDATE (Mar 30): He's starting to recover.

Magic Numbers/St Etienne Brighton

Saw the Brigton St Etienne/Magic Numbers warm up for their Shepherds Bush NY Eve gig.
Missed the start of Magic Numbers cos we were in Burger King but when we got there I took this rubbish picture that spookily whites out their faces (like the cartoon thing) from about 20 rows back. St Etienne did a great cover/encore of The Zombies; 'This will be our year" with Magic Numbers supplying fine backing harmonies.

The Field Mice

Oh how I loved the Field Mice. In January 2005, their entire back catalogue (including flexis and assorted compiliation gubbins) is being reissued on 3 CDS (4 discs) on LTM records. Alastair Fitchett (Tangents, Unpopular) has done a lengthy biography.
Sensitive. That was the one.

Timi Yuro - What's a matter baby?

(Another thing i first did for Fiddlesticks but now with new added 'hyperlinks'.

I've waited by the phone and they never fucking call, I've lied (to myself over and over), I've searched through their stuff, I've cried so much after saying goodbye once that a policeman asked me if i was alright. Just don't fall in love with girls who live with their boyfriends. It made me ill. It made me make dozens of compilation tapes for her that I hoped would convey my frail condition through old Sea Urchins singles. Ok I was 19. What's a boy to do? The aftermath of affairs is the subject of this amazing 39 year old r'n'b single and I stuffed this one on several of my efforts probably between Patsy Cline and Brenda Lee (What is it with me and tiny young women that can belt out a soulful ballad) hoping she might get the picture. To be honest I'd hoped she'd burst into tears. 2 minutes of anguished howls, contemptious laughs, and a spectoresque military drum roll are now par for the course round my way on a friday night but it was the astonishing voice that got me back then. The old Dusty/Elvis/er, Rick Astley cliche that 'everyone thought she was black" was inevitably pinned on a young Rosemarie Timotea Aurro (Timi was her childhood nickname and Yuro cos its easier to spell) when she first surfaced but she had to throw a hissy fit before her clueless record company rescued her from the MOR lounge circuit and 'What's a matter baby? was one of the rare times she was handed material that did her justice.
Her usual producer had done a bunk and it really is fellow teen Phil Spector in the studio compressing the orchestration to death and maximising that pained soul voice. Timi's ex boyfriend has been crying. His current girl has finally left him having cheated on him for months so he's wanting the seceptical Timi back. Not likely says Timi who reveals that she too has found a man and wishes it to be know that ' ..My hurting is just about over' but 'its just starting for you'. And she's not very sorry at all. I married the girl who lived with the boyfriend (she left him) and we lived happily ever after. She didn't actually play most of the tapes I sent her in
the end (too painful, too rubbish) So its true that like Timi.. my/our hurting is just about over. The evil thing is every time I used to listen to this I pictured the hurting that was just starting for her ex lover and a big grin broke out on my face. And thats why I'll always love this record. The most romantic single ever made. For keeps.

Jem by George (aged 32)

Me by "big" George.
Thats the Radio Times btw.

Born to be with you - Dion

(I wrote this for Fiddlesticks a while ago and just found it again and added in a few explanatory bits of hypertextery) 

       It starts with some great humming, v. big drums, swirling cowboy twang and ends with ex herion addict Dion DiMucci pleading "yeah its true". I only heard this for the first time today (Nov 2001) and I'm listening to it for the fifteenth time in a row. 'Born to be with you' is one of the most glorious singles ever made.

10 guitar players, Hal Blaine *and* another 2 drummers, Phil Spector wasn't messing around when he asked to record with boyhood hero Dion. 7 minute epics, horns, choirs and sobbing throughout. Of course. And as is usually the case with the poor fella post 1967. Nobody got it. Warners refused to release it. Dion never spoke to him again and that was
about it for Phil. Apart from The Ramones. Which doesn't count.

I don't know why I'd never encountered this single/album until now. I'd always sneakily liked Dion's 50s teen hits like Runaround Sue, and start playing the Christmas album (sorry "A Christmas Gift for you" - Various Artists) from November onwards every year boring my Dad with the usual geek/mojo anecodote about 'It didn't sell because JFK was shot on the day of release you know.'

And according to Sean Rowleys excellent fan sleevenotes from the 1975 albums recent reissue the single has always been one of Bobby Gillespie's faves. Now I've slavishly followed his tastes for years from MC5 to Love even down to some v.dodgy Thin Lizzy singles so I'm amazed I missed out on this. Also as Rowley corectly points out, Spiritualized owe their entire career to this 6 minutes 52 seconds epic. I, er, loved their early stuff and so 10 years too late have finally worked out where they ripped off their take on the Troggs 'Anyway That you Want Me'.

Those trademark strings are making me weep. You're going to love this. I just know it.

Me By George

Well if you can't post this sort of nonsense from time to time.
me by George. (aged 4).